Tuesday, June 30, 2015

8 Students You Meet in College


There are many types of students that you should strive to be in college; the above graphic demonstrates the kind that you should not.

1. The Resurrected
You grew to really enjoy that empty seat next to you in Biology 103. It became a trusty friend to your backpack and the free arm rest during lecture was kind of nice, too. Until finals day approached and you saw a strange face for the first time all semester. Your backpack met the floor and Mr. BOD Man Body Spray spilled into your seat, which made you feel both sad and confused because you didn't realize people still wore BOD. And somehow, The Resurrected still finishes his final exam before you. HOW DOES HE DO IT

2. The Curve Wrecker
Everyone else in the class averaged a 70. Except the curve wrecker who scored a 97. Without this destroyer of all things good, you could have gotten an A. Instead, you'll be taking a 73 and can kiss your spot on the Dean's List goodbye.

3. The Borrower
It soon becomes a reflex for you. When you feel a *tap tap tap* on your shoulder, you no longer look up and ask "what." You just toss over a pen and accept that you probably won't be seeing it again.

4. The Riddler
Hand locked in question-asking position. The Riddler questions everything the professor says. The Riddler's favorite time to ask questions is right before class should dismiss, causing you to be late, yet again, for your daily afternoon snooze.

5. The Snacker
If it's not the incessant chomping in your ear, it's the constant crinkle of a plastic wrapper. Please for the love of all that is good and holy, just eat during regular meal times.

6. The Picasso
Is he doodling or is he taking notes? Although the doodler can easily disguise his past-time as attentiveness, we can tell by his beanie, prescription Ray Bans, and hieroglyphics tattoo on the inside of his wrist that he's an artsy fellow. Doodling.

7. The Buzz
She doesn't talk much but she has a lot to say. Is that your pocket buzzing, or do you have a beehive in your backpack?

8. The P.J. Queen
I know it took everything you had to just pull yourself out of bed this morning. But pajamas in public... Can you just not?

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